[Clara takes a deep breath and gathers her thoughts.]
I died, and he went too far to fix it. He put all of time and space at risk, but we both knew it was wrong. We both knew we'd destroy universes to be together, and no one should be worth that.
[Her voice constricts a little.]
We both agreed to it. It's better this way, for everyone.
What happened to him to make him do something that awful? [It can't just be her death... right? Then again, Max accidentally went too far to save Chloe...]
I did something reckless, and neither of us could fix it. But it's okay, Max. I'm okay. We all face it in the end.
[She's spent more time reassuring people about her own death than she has thinking about it herself. It's a bit surreal.]
But he faced something worse. He was alone with his grief for a very long time, and no one should blame him for his pain. It was awful, and it hurts, but I would have done the very same in his shoes. And that's the problem. It's a risk that can't be taken.
[Four and a half billion years. She doesn't want to say it, not again. Saying it will make her chest clench, and her eyes sting, and she's trying to be strong here.]
[voice]
Date: 2016-01-12 09:33 pm (UTC)From:Clara, what happened?
[voice]
Date: 2016-01-13 12:07 am (UTC)From:It's a long story.
[Oh, that is such a bullshit answer and Clara knows it. Max deserves better for all her kindness.]
I told you he lost me, but I didn't tell you- ... I didn't tell you what happened next.
[voice]
Date: 2016-01-13 01:07 am (UTC)From:[She wouldn't want to accidentally start an incident with her lack of knowledge, after all.]
no subject
Date: 2016-01-13 01:20 am (UTC)From:I died, and he went too far to fix it. He put all of time and space at risk, but we both knew it was wrong. We both knew we'd destroy universes to be together, and no one should be worth that.
[Her voice constricts a little.]
We both agreed to it. It's better this way, for everyone.
no subject
Date: 2016-01-13 01:32 am (UTC)From:What happened to him to make him do something that awful? [It can't just be her death... right? Then again, Max accidentally went too far to save Chloe...]
no subject
Date: 2016-01-13 01:58 am (UTC)From:[She's spent more time reassuring people about her own death than she has thinking about it herself. It's a bit surreal.]
But he faced something worse. He was alone with his grief for a very long time, and no one should blame him for his pain. It was awful, and it hurts, but I would have done the very same in his shoes. And that's the problem. It's a risk that can't be taken.
no subject
Date: 2016-01-13 02:01 am (UTC)From:... How long? [Because Max gets the feeling she needs to brace herself.]
no subject
Date: 2016-01-13 02:07 am (UTC)From:[Four and a half billion years. She doesn't want to say it, not again. Saying it will make her chest clench, and her eyes sting, and she's trying to be strong here.]
And you don't need to worry about me. Truly.
no subject
Date: 2016-01-13 02:11 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2016-01-13 02:16 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2016-01-13 02:19 am (UTC)From:[Clara, you forget that Max is awkward.]
no subject
Date: 2016-01-13 02:23 am (UTC)From:[And honestly Max, the Doctor is the most awkward of them all. He owns awkward.]
no subject
Date: 2016-01-13 02:27 am (UTC)From:But you'd better not be a stranger, you hear?
no subject
Date: 2016-01-16 01:24 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2016-01-16 01:25 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2016-01-16 01:27 am (UTC)From:See you 'round, Max.
[And with that, she ends the call.]